What to Do When You're Reduced to Tears

Whether or not we like it, the time comes when we break down. It's too much to take, and letting those emotions in just seems easier than trying to artificially dodge those "bad" feelings. There are a couple of things to do with a situation like this.

1. Let the feelings in. I am a firm believer that emotions will come and go, the "good" and the "bad," but in actuality, they are all necessary. We do suffer, however petty or profound. No one can tell you if you've experienced a devastating loss, that you should think and feel "positive" feelings. That's absurd. As humans, or, f---, as animals, we feel pain, loss, sorrow, guilt, shame, etc., etc. It's a part of our humanity and it only prolongs suffering if we postpone it or resist it.

So, a la the Sedona Method, allow the feeling in, let it seep through your entire existence as much as it needs to. Then, maybe you need to watch television and zone out. Often, once we let these emotions run rampant as they want, they leave us in an indeterminable state. We aren't ready to face any more emotions, or even to think about ourselves--or be ourselves. Do what feels right, but don't resist. There comes a point when you can let go--if even just a little bit. We might hold on to sorrow because it connects us with what we lost; after a while, that becomes unhealthy. But, that is all up to you, and nobody but you. So, let it run its course, and then, maybe immediately or maybe a while later, you'll be able to let it go.

2. Turn the tears into tears of joy. There are times when we cry non-specifically. That is, I didn't lose my dog or my boyfriend, but I'm feeling overwhelmed or lost. The feeling is there, though it doesn't have a specific cause (and no, it's not PMS...well, even if it is). I might just feel crappy because I'm sick of trying to feel positive, or it's gray outside, or whatever; but I am reduced to tears.

Crying is not indicative of sorrow; it's indicative of a strong emotion. Maybe this is more of a "girl" thing than it is a "guy" thing usually, but only in the way it manifests, really. Crying from joy is pure delight; so is crying from gratefulness. The next time you feel helpless and as much as you try, you can't back away from tears, see if you can keep the intensity, but change the source of that intensity.

At any rate, a good cry is worth more than people give it credit. Let it out--but don't hold on to it. Let it go when you're ready.