What's the Deal???

I haven't been on here for a while, and I do apologize. I've had some good things happen, and have been busy. Good, good.

There is a contention right now, and while many people label it as right-winged versus left-winged, I think it is MUCH more a contention of open-minded versus closed-minded. And the closed-minded bunch come from all walks of life. There are people who are smart and well-educated and believe themselves to be open-minded, but in their own view of things, are as closed-minded as the fundamentalists they abhor. This is a problem.

So...the internet. Wonderful thing. Forums--wonderful, though dangerous. I did have the opportunity to get into a forum debate about abortion, and realized, in the argument, the fundamentals of why I am pro-choice, though I respect the pro-life side. But some people just cross the line...

The reason I write this brief entry is to express my annoyance with people who voice their closed-minded opinions on the internet. Some of these people are very conservative; others are probably self-proclaimed liberals who still are as closed-minded as the people they fight against. What's the deal???

I just don't understand why people feel the need to put their mindset into other people's heads. Isn't that the beauty of being human? Isn't that why we founded America, or rather, democracy? And I'm not saying democracy is the best thing for everyone; I'm only saying that in the country I live in, that's our style.

I recently came across someone on a wonderful website--43 Things--who was going on to all these threads and telling people they were wrong. For reference, 43 Things is a goal-building site. You can pick up to 43 goals and either make your own or join one that has many members. I choose one that has many members, because then you can post and support each other. Each goal has its own page. Of course, it's had its problems because many people have negative goals. They ban goals that harm others, but then there are the anorexia and suicidal goals...which they can't ban, but luckily now they put a disclaimer on the page. So, that's good.

Anyway, I was reading this page about Law of Attraction goal, and was thinking this was really cool when I come across one post of some jackass who just says, "Sorry to tell you but...it doesn't work. Click here." And he gives a link to go to, and whatever...but I've been in email arguments with this guy because he is so closed-minded about things in the way that he wants everyone to think like he does.

Why would someone go on threads and tell them they are wrong? And then, he goes on to say that the Christians, with whom he disagrees, get mad at him because, in his opinion, they are forced to see something they don't want to. I'm sorry, but if you come at people with a statement that their beliefs are wrong, or stupid, you're automatically saying you think that you're better than them. Why would someone listen to that? Or put up with that?

And in doing all this, I realized that this is probably part of my growth, dealing with people like this. Letting those people go. Why should it get me mad? They are not in my everyday life; I enter willingly into internet conversations with them. I probably shouldn't get involved.

But the main problem I see is the absolute resistance to seeing things from another point of view. This is, of course, why I'm an actress. To be an actress, you must portray people from varying walks of life, and you might not always agree with the character's motives, but it is YOUR job to find sympathy in the character, and why she does what she does. No one is purely evil and acting to be so (well, maybe a few people). Every person has a reason why they believe or behave the way he or she does. I just believe that we need to have respect for one another and realize that we don't know what's best for everyone, and we don't have the answer for every person out there.

Maybe I'm not making sense...maybe I'm just babbling...it's late. I just want people to respect one another and to realize that what suits you does NOT necessarily suit another.

That's my 2 cents. Cash it in if you like.

Check It Out: Steve Pavlina

Okay, so a while back I came across this guy's website because I was curious as to how to make a living from my home computer. So, this guy's blog shows up, and I read this article entitled "10 Reasons You Should Never Have a Job" or something. Then I saw his other posts, and I was really excited to see the depth of human potential that he was passionate about.

So you know, I'm not praising him for any "exchange" or anything--he doesn't do that, especially not with small potatoes like me. I am mentioning this because I think his blogs, articles, and podcasts are extremely beneficial.

As you may know from reading my posts on The Secret, I appreciate the effort and the message, but hate the delivery. I hate the glassy-eyed "life is so great! Just use quantum physics!" kind of approach that some authors sell to make a buck. I'm not saying it's not true, but what I am saying is that some people know what they're talking about, and give a systematized, logical, and usually not that easy plan to follow, and some just water everything down to what you want to hear. I'm not saying that The Secret can't do wonders for you--it may do just that. But there are so many other factors in manifesting our lives that are not covered in depth by the book. So, applaud to Ms. Byrne for the movie and book, but think of it as a trailer for the Law of Attraction. I mean, trailers are absolutely fabulous (usually) even if the movie is shit. And also, The Secret has an amazing trailer, though I prefer What the Bleep Do We Know because it is more scientific.

Now, I'm not a person who needs scientific explanation, but I do need philosophical basis for any theory I'm going to listen to. Steve Pavlina has a whole bunch of amazingly insightful posts and podcasts on self-improvement: being an early riser, finding your passion, the law of attraction, polarity (still struggling with that one), subjective reality, finding your purpose...the list goes on and on.

The thing I like about Steve the most is his openness about his beliefs, no matter how absurd they may seem. And these are, by the way, philosophical, not religious beliefs. He is not interested in "winning you over," and I think therein lies much of his charm. I am kind of sick of being marketed to as far as New Age philosophies are concerned, also because I accept them open-heartedly; they make sense to me. But to be sold an idea makes me distrustful of the seller.

I highly recommend his podcasts. You get a sense of the man behind the writing, and you really understand his enthusiasm for what he does. The last podcast I listened to (twice, mind you, and it's over an hour long) was "The True Nature of Reality" about subjective reality. What is this? Well, have you ever realized that you have no proof--none whatsoever--that anything outside your consciousness exists? What if YOU were the ONLY consciousness? What if you were consciousness, and your entire world, including your physical being, were a manifestation of that consciousness? It sounds pretty out there, and he agrees. But he goes in depth about how he came to this conclusion and how well it's working for him. It doesn't perpetrate an egotistical point of view, but on the contrary, a more loving point of view. After all, isn't objective reality a leap of faith? If you have no definite proof that anything outside you exists, which is the basis for most modern science, then isn't that one assumption nothing but blind faith?

I encourage you to check him out for yourself. And, if you're into psychic development, you can easily link over to his wife's website, Erin Pavlina here.

Check Steven out here. Don't be put off by things you don't believe in; he has a variety of subjects that are incredibly beneficial and practical, without the (quote, un-quote) mumbo-jumbo.

Peace.

Fly, Fly Away

Ever had a lucid dream? If you have, you know how amazing the experience is. If you don't, well, I suggest you give it a shot.

A lucid dream is a dream where you, the dreamer, realize you are dreaming, and hopefully, though not always, take over the dream. Ideally, you create any situation you want; it's a playground of creativity and experience. What would you do? Some people might have wild orgies; it sounds crude, but it's a nice, safe place to experiment, and no one will judge you except yourself. The obvious answer, however, is to fly. Flying dreams are the most invigorating and uplifting, and provides such a wonderful physical sensation as a metaphor for the "real" world.

I haven't had many flying dreams, but one was a long, long time ago in my childhood. I was outside at a canyon and fell off the cliff--a common occurrence in my dreams, though normally it would end with my waking up, startled. This time, I realized I was dreaming while falling, and thought, "why not fly?" And so, I did.

People often have flying dreams at periods of freedom after stress, or when such a situation is available. I remember a friend remarking that after her finals, she had such a dream. It can also be a signal from the subconscious that maybe you need to take control (instead of the situation taking control of you), lighten up, and "fly" above your situation.

So, my dream: I am waiting to have my picture taken (I've been watching too much America's Next Top Model), and I'm on this slippery, muddy hill outside of my house. I have platforms on, a bunch of stuff in my hand like some wine and my cell phone, and who knows what else. I actually am somewhat aware I'm dreaming because I'm sleeping in on my day off, so I'm pretty much dozing in an alpha state. However, I still fail to take control of the dream. I fall down and drop everything, and when I try to get up, the situation gets worse: my shoes come off, I spill juice down my dress, I slide down the hill. I scramble to get up and pick everything up, and then the objects I've dropped keep changing. There are now four pairs of shoes instead of one, and I know I'm dreaming, but that I have to pick up the real shoes, or the others will vanish. My body isn't working right, I keep sliding down the hill, and I just can't get control. Several times I then walk up the steps to get to my stuff, but somehow end up on this rickety ledge and realize I've done something wrong getting back to my things. I do this many, many times, and then, when the ledge looks like it's going to drop me to the ground, I realize, "why not fly?"

So I step off the ledge and I fall slightly but then float there in the air. Everyone is ooh-ing and ah-ing, and I feel this intense joy and freedom tingling through my whole body. I fly away, because now that I can do this, I want to see some amazing things. Beyond the house is a large kind of desert, but I see enormous creatures all over, gentle and dangerous. I remember seeing a large pegasus and realizing now that I can fly, too. The flying felt identical to when I was floating at the pool last weekend, sitting on a noodle; it was a kind of floating state that could move forward, but was also dependent on buoyancy, so that one wrong move, and you're going down (like when the noodle floats up from underneath you).

Now, I play a computer game called World of Warcraft. You may have heard of it, you may not have, but the setup of my dream was a lot like their landscapes: sweeping vistas, rich foliage, and large monsters. I went over to the ocean, and what I saw was incredible. There were these islands made up to look like totems, and strange signs of some other creatures' civilization. In the ocean were gigantic beasts: bears, griffins, and dragons that I wasn't too scared of because I realized I looked like a fly to them. I had other storylines in there as well, and I would visit this city that kind of reminded me of Burano, Italy, with colorful facades. There was a swamp with dinosaurs right by the city that scared me, and I often would lose my flight. To start again, I needed some momentum, and it usually just required a jump and the ability to let go and not question what magic was happening. When I tried to reason, I would fall.

Sounds quite similar, actually, to how the Law of Attraction works: the ability to manifest our desires, freedom from all "logical" thought, emotions, and situations that we pretend cause our lives, but are really the effect of what we've been thinking. The dream is ridiculously obvious as far as how it relates to my life. I always have dreams of trying to do something but getting stalled in the process, and I believe it's my viewpoint on how I tackle life's challenges. Going to work becomes so charged with negative energy because I have to do all this stuff first, including taking care of my stepson and getting him to school. The more I get frustrated will all the steps, the harder they become, until I'm falling down in the mud. If you've read my post about my car, well, this metaphor is VERY obvious.

Today, because unfortunately work, some chores and um--what was it? OH! That's right--gravity--are keeping me from flying to fantastic lands, I will do my damnedest to "fly" in every way I can today. And maybe, just maybe, this world around me is as malleable as a lucid dream. What if it were? What would I imagine, and intend to bring it up before my eyes? What does it take for me to not rely on the facts, but on my own creative, divine power?

Then you can live your dreams...lol.

Check out this site for some great articles on lucid dreaming.

What to Do When You're Reduced to Tears

Whether or not we like it, the time comes when we break down. It's too much to take, and letting those emotions in just seems easier than trying to artificially dodge those "bad" feelings. There are a couple of things to do with a situation like this.

1. Let the feelings in. I am a firm believer that emotions will come and go, the "good" and the "bad," but in actuality, they are all necessary. We do suffer, however petty or profound. No one can tell you if you've experienced a devastating loss, that you should think and feel "positive" feelings. That's absurd. As humans, or, f---, as animals, we feel pain, loss, sorrow, guilt, shame, etc., etc. It's a part of our humanity and it only prolongs suffering if we postpone it or resist it.

So, a la the Sedona Method, allow the feeling in, let it seep through your entire existence as much as it needs to. Then, maybe you need to watch television and zone out. Often, once we let these emotions run rampant as they want, they leave us in an indeterminable state. We aren't ready to face any more emotions, or even to think about ourselves--or be ourselves. Do what feels right, but don't resist. There comes a point when you can let go--if even just a little bit. We might hold on to sorrow because it connects us with what we lost; after a while, that becomes unhealthy. But, that is all up to you, and nobody but you. So, let it run its course, and then, maybe immediately or maybe a while later, you'll be able to let it go.

2. Turn the tears into tears of joy. There are times when we cry non-specifically. That is, I didn't lose my dog or my boyfriend, but I'm feeling overwhelmed or lost. The feeling is there, though it doesn't have a specific cause (and no, it's not PMS...well, even if it is). I might just feel crappy because I'm sick of trying to feel positive, or it's gray outside, or whatever; but I am reduced to tears.

Crying is not indicative of sorrow; it's indicative of a strong emotion. Maybe this is more of a "girl" thing than it is a "guy" thing usually, but only in the way it manifests, really. Crying from joy is pure delight; so is crying from gratefulness. The next time you feel helpless and as much as you try, you can't back away from tears, see if you can keep the intensity, but change the source of that intensity.

At any rate, a good cry is worth more than people give it credit. Let it out--but don't hold on to it. Let it go when you're ready.

The Difficulties of Remembering the Law of Attraction

Why is it that we automatically assume the worst? Why do we choose to worry rather than manifest the best solution?

I had a car situation. A BAD car situation. I am very, very inept with cars, and really just prefer someone else takes care of the problem at hand. However, whenever I go to a mechanic to fix my car, I'm both relieved that someone can make things better and terrified of what they'll say. I guess the statement I'm afraid of is something like, "Wow...you really f-ed up this car. What an idiot you are. What a bad, stupid person for even owning, let alone not taking care of this car like you should. It's going to cost $5,000-7,000 to fix, but I'd recommend you go out and throw yourself in front of a car rather than try to continue your pathetic car-owning existenece."

Silly, I know, but afraid of criticism when I go, so obviously, I make every excuse not to. And, I had a stack of parking tickets, overdue registration and expired insurance. Oops. Bad. I don't know why, but I've found it refreshing to ignore these tasks recently, in defiance to the stress they cause me. Pretending they don't exist is not the best solution, however.

So, my car gets towed. And I find out I need to A) get insurance, B) fax over proof of insurance to this office called the Office of Financial Responsibility, C) pay my parking tickets to my city, D) wait for the Office of blah blah to clear my registration, then go to the DMV and pay them and get a temporary permit, E) go to the PD to get a vehicle release (and pay them, too, of course), F) go to the tow yard, pay THEM and then get my car. And all this time I'm thinking the car doesn't work, and I'll have to get it towed to my house where it would be immobile like it was before.

I think the most stress was step D, only because they take SOOOO long, and they don't give a shoot (that's the s-word and "hoot" combining to make "shoot;" pretty cute, huh?). I was trying to release on this, but found it extremely hard. As anyone knows, when you're on the line, paying money, and have to wait for some miserable goober in a crappy job to stamp a piece of paper and take it to the other side of the room, it's extremely frustrating. I was using the Sedona method, and realizing this was a result of my wanting control over the situation, so I tried to release the wanting to control. It worked short-term, but there was obviously more I had to do, because I made many, many angry calls to the office trying to bully my way ahead of the line and it got me NOWHERE. I had been told it takes them three business days. That is a problem because they received the information on Thursday, so then I have to wait to continue those three business days the following week. Meanwhile, I'm paying the tow yard over $30/day.

So, I'm calling every day, and nothing. I want my car out of storage; I want to rectify this. They don't care. Then, at the end of the second business day, one lady tells me, "well, then it takes three business days to get processed by the DMV." I'm flabbergasted. So, I freak out. I'm home alone, and I'm so distraught and feel so out of control that I just, well, have a tantrum, basically.

Now, I don't recommend tantrums--ever. Get it out when you're four. The only good thing is that it got me realizing that my own sanity is worth much more than my own car. So after an entire night of trashy reality television, and staying home from work the following day, I just don't care anymore. NOW, I'm finally released of wanting control.

About 1pm, I'm thinking I should call and check if the DMV released my suspension of registration, although I really don't even want to think about it. I force myself to call, and it looks like it's released! It only took ONE business day, instead of three (and sometimes seven to ten).

So, that was releasing/manifesting success #1, though I would never, ever recommend my method of release to anyone. The second was that once I got through to step F, I was still uncertain of how to deal with my car. I set up for a tow truck to come, but I held off sending it until I got there. My husband kept saying to drive it, but I kept feeling like I was driving a bomb before (I'm always afraid my car will blow up when something's wrong with it). The only problem is that it leaks coolant, and so after a few days, the engine overheats. That, and my oil was low. Anyway, I kept thinking of "what am I going to do with my broken car?" and then I reminded myself to just picture myself in the car, being so excited that I have it back and it works. It was really hard to remember, actually. I kept trying to find a solution to a problem that, truthfully, I didn't even know that I had. Maybe just putting some fluids in would fix the whole problem.

So, I brought some oil with me to the tow yard and had some coolant in the car already. The lady at the desk tells me to give her my keys, but I ask instead to look at the car before I decide what to do. She agrees.

Also, let me add that I'm in East Oakland, and I'm a little frightened of being there. Anyway, the man drives me to my car, and I tell him I want to add oil and coolant, and he sticks around and obviously can see I have NO idea what I'm doing, so he helps me. He funnels the oil in with a newspaper and pours the coolant in the radiator. then he helps me as I turn on the car--it took about 10 seconds--and lets the car run.

Guess what? It's TOTALLY FINE. It's not overheating, even a little bit. It's running beautifully; the oil obviously helped. So, he fills up my container with water so I'll have some on hand, and I drive home.

What a relief! It took me about an hour, both with traffic and getting lost, and the car ran beautifully the entire time. It wasn't until the next day that I realized that I had manifested exactly what I had visualized when I reminded myself to focus on the positive.

Now, part of this is manifestation, and part of it is learning not to create problems where there are none; much ado about nothing. This car had sat outside my house for two months without being used because I was too afraid of using it. That, and I was sick of driving everyone all the time, so I welcomed having no car for the first couple of weeks. But I manifested all of this horrible stuff with my car because I'm afraid of it; I manifested...well, I won't go into it, but I was always afraid my car would be gone one morning. The one morning I grab oil and my husband to see what happens, the car is gone. "Too little, too late," the universe replied...

But now it's back, and it's legal, and I've learned the value of letting things be and focusing on what I want, not how to get out of a problem I might have. Both of these things, for both practical, non-LOA purposes, are immensely better than the alternative.

So when our plans to vacation next week looked unlikely, I had to remind myself to not think about how unhappy I am, but to try and create a new vacation, a better vacation. Sometimes we don't even realize how damaging our thoughts can be because they're such a habit for us. Breaking that habit is extremely difficult, but, I believe it can and will be done.

Another future thing I'm trying to manifest is (writing it here solidifies it):

I am so grateful that now I earn $2500 a month at least in one or several jobs that are all fun, worthwhile, total less than 40 hours/week, and are flexible enough so that I can easily fit in auditions and performances for acting gigs to progress my acting career.

The amount of money isn't much at all, I know, but it's what I need right now. I have a hard time with money, so I'm working one step at a time.

Another Mood-Lifter

Blessings. It sounds corny, but you know what? Bless some people. See what happens. You don't have to do it out loud; just say it silently, in your head. Or maybe you mentally hold a hand up to their forehead, or maybe you just wish them all the happiness in the world. After a while, your mood changes. You become excited to bless people, excited to encounter people.

I am an introverted person, so I tend to retreat from people more than I approach them (not that I'm not friendly, or can't be outgoing, but this is where my tendency lies). I tried this one day as I was walking around the lake around my house. I decided to bless every person I passed until I reached home. At first, it was difficult; I didn't feel I had much to give people. But after the first ten or twenty, it was simple, and after thirty or forty it was fun. I felt a part of the world more than not, which is a new and different feeling for me. I felt positive and helpful and hopeful for myself and others.

The Best Way Out of a Rut? Ask the Expert -- YOU!

I've been having a hard time lately dealing with--guess what--money issues. But I think things are on the upswing, which is good. It's a slooooow upswing, though. In trying to just feel better I was having some problems. I was releasing (using Sedona Method, see earlier posts), which is great, but I guess I really just needed a quick fix. I just wanted to feel good, and to even know what feeling good felt like.

And then a thought occured to me: why not ask myself? So, I asked myself, "How would you like to feel?"

I felt a surge of joy, coming over me in increasing waves. I felt my heart loosen and open like I do when I've made a breakthrough. Tears actually came to my eyes as I stuck with this question over and over and over. So this is what "feeling good" feels like, I thought. My body knew all the time; it's just that my thoughts were fighting it.

Try it. You don't need to be by yourself in the room, but being in your own world helps. You can be walking or meditating or anywhere where you feel you can speak to your innermost being. And ask yourself, "How would you like to feel?" It's amazing once you open up the possibility of feeling good. We get so trapped in the habit of worrying, that we don't even open up the possibility that we should feel good. Perhaps this is society; perhaps it's self-punishment for not doing everything perfectly; perhaps it's regression to a childlike state, our thoughts being the oppressors, telling us we need to feel guilty and bad for the things we haven't done right. In any case, times of feeling good often come few and far between, so that the cause seems arbitrary, the times random. Sometimes it's a good day, sometimes bad, but we don't control it. We allow something else to control it for us, to the point where we forget what "feeling good" feels like.

So, there you go. You are your own best friend. Whenever you feel stuck, fearful, anxious, frustrated, or anything that seems to debilitate your sense of freedom, ask yourself questions. If you want to feel good, ask yourself to feel good, or what it feels like to feel good. You can ask yourself why something bothers you, or why you can't finish a certain task. You can ask yourself about your life purpose. I did this recently; I was at the end of my rope, as far as getting rejected for acting roles. A role which I had informally been told was mine actually wasn't. I went down to the mini-park by my house. I smoked a cigarette or two (I know, I know) and just tried to ask God, the Universe, what was up. What's going down? Should I quit acting? I felt pretty much like I should. And I will say, when you reach out, you will feel the support. I felt my spirit guides around me, I felt the universe ready to unfold. I felt support. I heard a voice say, "Persevere, " and, "you'll get there." So, I'm still here. But in moments when we feel all alone in some way or another, when you reach inside yourself, you'll see you're far from alone. It's fun, actually.

When You Just Can't Believe: Some Suggestions to Whip You into Positive Thinking and Feeling

There are times when you know you should be thinking and feeling positively, but you just can't. This is a point I think The Secret fails miserably on, because it seems to forget that we are, in fact, humans with human feelings, and having bad feelings is OKAY. That's right--it's okay. Trust me. You would be insane otherwise.

The Secret talks about "secret shifters" that turn your frown upside down, but I don't believe that just thinking of good memories will put you in a better mood. In fact, when you try to force bad feelings out, they often become even more stubborn. So, I have listed a few of my favorite techniques to put you in a more positive frame of mind.

The "Magic If"
I can't claim this one myself; in fact, it is an acting technique devised by none other than Konstantin Stanislavski, the father of most theatre technique taught today, and founder of the world-famous Moscow Art Theatre.

Why is the "if" magic, you say? Let me demonstrate. Listen and respond to what I tell you. Ready? Okay, right now you are no ordinary human. In fact, you are only 2 inches tall.

Do you believe it? Now try this: behave as if you were only 2 inches tall.

See the difference? If you walk around, trying to follow the Law of Attraction by believing you've received what you ask for, it can be difficult. If you say, "I have a million dollars in the bank," undoubtedly, you'll get a little voice back saying, "no, you don't." But, if you try to walk around behaving, feeling and thinking as if you had a million dollars in the bank, it's a lot easier.

The reason is that the concept of "if" opens the mind up into an imaginary world without contradicting the current one. We don't feel like we're fighting logic or deluding ourselves by acting "as if" we have all of our current dreams happening.

So, if you're feeling in a bad place and are trying to believe, try to believe...as if.

As if. :)

Live on Vacation
When I go on vacation, I prefer to plan as little as possible, which surprises my husband because in life, I feel very out of control if I don't plan things out. This started when I went abroad to Italy when I was 21 years old. Before the semester started, I traveled through England, Scotland and Ireland with my friend, Bryn. Bryn is extremely laid back but outgoing, and very spontaneous, so we just bought the plane tickets, the train tickets, and made one reservation for a hostel the night we arrived, so that we wouldn't wander around homeless the first night in London. From there on, we just went wherever the hostels had rooms. We tried Salisbury, but they were booked, so we tried Canterbury and scored, and were ecstatic we did. When I eventually got to Italy, we could take weekend trips to the best destinations in the world: Rome, Sicily, Florence, Siena, Tuscany, Lake Como, and so on.

One weekend my friend Bill and I took a plane from Venice to Sicily, the biggest trip I had made while staying for the semester. We planned so little it was scary, but to my surprise, everything worked out. We found the most beautiful little towns by accident, and got some great spots purely by coincidence. One night, it was 9pm and we had been unable to find a room for the night. We asked the waiter if they knew a room that might be available, and to our surprise, they did; a couple owned a building with a spare room upstairs for a very reasonable price, and thankfully, directly across from the big cathedral in Monreale.

Why are vacations so fantastic, anyway? I'll tell you--because we're living in the moment, and we're also trying to get as much as possible out of every single moment. Why? Because we're paying for it, but also because we've set aside time to allow ourselves to do this. Now, look at where you are right now. Now close your eyes. Imagine that instead of being at home on your computer, or at work avoiding work, you were at a cafe in France. Nothing denies it--you can't see where you are. Just imagine, and note how you feel. Chances are, you felt freer, excited, adventurous, spontaneous, and probably opened your eyes disappointed that you weren't at that cafe in France. But the only thing that changed was your perception of your surroundings.

Vacations are full of surprises and fun, and that's how life should be. So, pretend you're on vacation, even if you're walking down the same old street you've always been on. Imagine that you didn't live here and could appreciate all the beauty and character around you.

Living a Dream
Once I had done a tarot reading, and one of the cards, the Ace of Swords, told me intuitively that anything I asked for was possible, but I had to go out and get it. It spoke to me with such conviction that I couldn't help but believe it. I knew that anything I wanted was available to me--I just had to go out and get it.

This conviction let me move forward with such surety that I started viewing life as a dream. What if the real world had as much symbolism and meaning as the dream world? I began seeing everything as symbols, as signs of where I was and where I was going.

For fun, imagine this is so. Imagine that your waking life is a dream. You have no idea what's coming next, and you also have, if you choose to take control, the authority to change the reality at will. Treat it like a dream--a lucid dream.

This may seem flighty, but just try it. It allows you to live in the moment and to realize that no matter how serious something is, it isn't reality. Have you ever had a dream where you were convicted to life in prison, or something equally as serious, only to wake up and have that entire reality melt away? Life is a dream--our dream. We create everything as we go along. It might not turn into a paper crane and fly away as our dreams so creatively can do, but honestly, "reality" is highly overrated. You have the ability to interpret your surroundings as you wish.

Live in your dreams...your life is a product of your dreams anyway, no matter how paltry or insignificant it may seem. But life has as much symbolism as the dream world. Notice it.

Peace.

The Secret: The Fad Diet of Spirituality

The Secret. I can't put it down; how could I? One of the best things about the book is its position that we are all responsible for our own actions. In a world where people constantly point towards outside elements as the cause for their pain, I think this message is vital. I am a strong believer against many psychiatric medicines, for example. I understand their usefulness; I wouldn't say to get rid of them altogether. However, I think they are prescribed too loosely, and should only be a means to an end. They should never be a permanent band-aid. Ultimately, we should have no permanent band-aids at all.

The marketing for the film is just outstanding; it goes to show what viral marketing can really do in this day and age. The trailer is just fantastic; the movie, eh, I liked What the Bleep better, but this one is more inspirational and less informational than that, and than many other processes. What bothers me is its overarching sleaziness that penetrates the book at every moment, even in the most generous and enlightened phrases. The problem with the book is that it markets to anyone and everyone who wants things for nothing. Who is that? Everyone. It's me, it's you, it's my Aunt Jeanne, it's my cousin Clem in Alabama singing on his banjo in the trailer park. Everyone wants something for nothing. Free money. Free men/women. Free home. Free vacation. And notice most of these things are bought with money. Money plays the biggest role of "wants" in this book. The authors say that we are meant to have abundance, and that is probably true; however, if you search that above all other things, you are not a follower, or a true follower, of what The Secret is trying to communicate.

Basically, the movie and book market to people who think "I want/need money" and try to then convert them into "I only want happiness." I don't know if it works that way. The messages in the book weigh heavily on the side of materialism and less on actual happiness and a sense of peace. Granted, the book tells you things like: "it's important to give;" "it's important to love;" "happiness starts within." These are things that great spiritual leaders have told us from the beginning of time. The Secret uses them, however, as a catalyst to get what you want rather than mentioning them as necessary ingredients. Byrne often uses little catch phrases like "turbo-charge" to mention these processes as though you were talking about a workout.

The sleaziness comes in because the solutions are often too simple and underthought, and also because the people interviewed in the book brag about themselves to prove that The Secret works. Jack Canfield, author of Chicken Soup for the <Shitty> Soul (okay, there's no "shitty" in there, I just think the books are kind of lachrymose), mentions how once he started using The Secret, his life turned around, and now he has a 4-million dollar mansion, a wife to die for, and takes vacations to all the best spots around the world. I'm sorry, but do we really need to know how much your house cost? I think if you say "mansion," which is bad enough, we get the point. I'm not saying he can't be a wonderful person or a great speaker because of this, but he and the book play the reader by giving a fast solution to their problem. It's my belief that while spiritual awakening can bring you wealth, it only does so because you don't feel the need for it, or the need to brag about it. But of course if Jack Canfield said that now he feels unbounded happiness and he doesn't care about the want or need for money anymore, the reader would not relate to him and would put the book down.

The other point of sleaziness is that, as I say above, the solutions are too simple. Most of it is an overview, which is a great source of inspiration for the reader, but doesn't offer much in the way of guidance. Most of these books organize things: the x amount of emotional states, the x steps to financial freedom, the x habits of effective people, etc. The only formula used is "How to Use the Secret." Step one: ask. Okay, makes sense, "ask and you shall receive," sure. Step two: believe. Okay, so believe it's coming for you, don't second guess it. Step three: receive. And the book actually says this: "believe that you have received." So...isn't that step two? It could quite easily be two aspects of one thing, but in believing, you're believing you're receiving what you asked for, and in receiving, you are automatically believing in this process and that what you've asked is true. So...huh?

One major aspect I think she either forgot to mention or completely overlooked is the concept of detachment. I think if you truly do the erroneous process, and believe, then that touches on detachment because if you believe you are going to get something, usually you let the wanting go. For instance, if you order a book online, you may check the mail to see if it came, but usually you let it go because you know it will come, or that Amazon needs to answer to you. However, I think that letting go is a huge major component of manifesting what you want. When I think back on times when I've really tried to manifest, the manifestation always came when I had forgotten my own wanting. In other words, the phone will never ring if you stare at it all day.

This concept of detachment is in many other books, and I know it plays a huge role in Eastern religions, but I am definitely no expert in those beyond what popular culture has taught me. Well, a little bit more than that, but not much. One book I compare to, contrast to, and compliment with The Secret is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra. I really need to write a whole review on that book, but he talks about manifestation within the context of much more important things: detachment, giving, awareness, and one's life purpose. You cannot just selfishly manifest money into your life, and you must always work to find your life's purpose in serving the world. Serve others, and you can have the life of your dreams. That seems more accurate.

However, I like The Secret. "What???!!!?" you say, eyes wide open, mouth aghast. Yes, I do. It's a great source of inspiration when I need it, and if you know where to find them, it has wonderful nuggets of information. The sleaziness of it has a good purpose, too: to get the word out. There is a strange paradox with spirituality these days that says a certain method is only good if it is obscure and not in the public eye. If too many people followed The Secret correctly, I'm sure many would denounce it for being "mainstream," "simplified," and "hype." But isn't it a good thing to get as many people on the right track as possible? Is there any way to do it other than marketing? I don't think so. For instance, back in the day, I used to do a new fad diet every month. I followed and really enjoyed the South Beach diet. My mother was denouncing it once and I let her know that while it was marketed towards people who wanted to be skinny, it actually taught you how to eat whole foods, i.e., to eat healthily. She had never thought of it that way.

So is The Secret the fad diet of spirituality? I think so. I recommend it, but not without picking up some other books in the Spirituality/Self-Help section as well.

Update on the Sedona Method

Continued from the last posting…

I can’t claim to be an expert at all on the Sedona Method, but it’s been working for me. As I wrote in my last post, it’s kind of a boring, repetitive book, and the concept sounds so simple that it’s not worth doing. The concept is, basically, “let it go.” I decided to try it because after months of reading The Secret (and other similar books), I got frustrated with the fact that it never addresses the fact that we have bad feelings sometimes, and we can’t just ignore them. The Secret, in my opinion, is like a really great trailer. It’s not the movie. Or…say, a beautiful concert poster or something. The Secret, as you probably know, is the Law of Attraction. Thoughts become things. Yes, great, I got it. The movie and the book, however, kind of skim the surface of this. In a way, it’s sort of reassuring because it tells you it’s just that easy—have good thoughts and good feelings and the world is yours. What about when you’re down? Stick a couple “secret shifters” up your sleeve. Those are good memories or thoughts that turn your feelings around.

So, I was feeling down the other day, and sometimes I can get myself out of these funks, but it usually takes a couple of days if all I’m doing is consciously trying to think and feel good—that is, if it works at all. And so, with my financial crisis, car crisis, an extra person in the house (she’s absolutely fabulous, but 1+1 with kids does not equal 2; it’s more like 10), and career crisis, I just couldn’t stop myself from having these bad feelings and thoughts. If I tried to just ignore them, they came back because that is what bad emotions do. They feel like a shell around me. I can’t experience the outside world because there’s this shell of my own world that prevents that. This shell feeds me with “how will you pay for that” and “what if you don’t get the car fixed” and “you’re such a failure” and in the meantime, the world outside lies beyond reach. No way I’m cleaning the house because my emotional shell keeps feeding me lines like “it will be so hard, you’ll never get it done” or “what’s the point; it’ll just get messy again.” You get the point.

So then I decided to check out this Sedona Method. First of all, let me say that I appreciate its acknowledgement of bad emotions and suffering. Many new age books—good ones and bad ones—don’t address this. I grew up Catholic, and so I have always had a spiritual life, though early on it had a different flavor for me, as you can imagine. As I grew up, I realized I could create my universe and my beliefs the way I want, the way that includes what I grew up with in a way that makes sense to me. I am not still Catholic, per se, but I don’t poo poo Christianity at all. I’m a me-ist. And I believe we should all find our own belief systems, and that mine might be different from yours and they can both be completely true. Anyway, what I missed about Chopra and Dyer and The Secret is the compassion for our suffering. There are times when we suffer, and that’s okay, and we need to feel those emotions. If I broke up with a boyfriend and a friend told me to pull out a “secret shifter” I’d probably punch her. The Sedona Method, however, takes these feelings and urges us to dive into them. Let it come through you, let yourself feel it, and then ask yourself if you will let it go. Honestly, it works. It's not a shiny, pretty process like The Secret is, but it's way more practical.

Sometimes a feeling is deeper than what it seems. So, I was feeling upset about the way my career has been going in theatre, and I got some negative news about something that I was kind of feeling I should get. I realized my need for this show, and to be cast in any show at the moment, is not for my desire to act but at this point it’s out of a need for approval. Zwoskin, the writer, talks about the 9 emotional states but also the four basic wants, approval being one. So I tried to release it and I couldn’t. I asked myself why and I realized it was because I was afraid that if I lost my want for approval, I would lose my desire to act, and if I lost my desire, my verve, to be on stage, I REALLY never would be on stage again. I realized that, allowed myself to release it (I had to make a promise that if this didn’t work I could go back to wanting approval), and everything lifted. I feel releasing in my breastbone, and suddenly it didn’t bother my anymore. My shell had dissipated.

As I was walking by the lake near my house, I took about 15 minutes to just be. I felt at peace, and the sensation was so much more remarkable because I hadn’t been at peace for over a week. That was a few days ago, and I continually release to stay grounded, but I have to say, nothing’s been bothering me. I’m much happier, and I can more and more just be in the moment, which is where all life happens anyway.

The book is so boring that I can’t sit down and read it cover to cover, so I take snippets here and snippets there, and eventually pull it all together. Another concept I like is “hootlessness.” That is when you have a goal, and release it to the point where you don’t give a hoot about it. Sounds backwards, but it’s technically the same thing as detachment. I’m not an expert on Eastern religions, but one of my favorite books, The Seven Spritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra, mentions goal-setting in a very similar way. He urges you to meditate, become still, release your desire into the universe and then let it go. Become detached to the point where you don’t care how or when or why it will manifest. I always found this concept very, very hard to actually practice, but I think the Sedona Method is really wonderful at getting down to the nitty gritty of how.

In other words, it lets you sift through your own shit so you can actually start practicing The Secret, or the Law of Attraction, or anything else. It’s very practical and doesn’t actually go into spirituality much; it’s a handbook. If you want something similar, though more on the practical end, check out “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” also an excellent book.

Now to manifest my career…that I really don’t give a shit about. I think I’ll call it “shitlessness;” it’s more fitting to my vocabulary. J

Sedona Method

A long, long time ago I picked up this book of my husband's. We had just moved in--well, no, let me rephrase that--we had lived together six months and I was finally getting to putting everything away. The book was called the Sedona Method, and my husband immediately wrote it off, saying, "Yeah, it looked good, but then I realized all it was saying was 'let it go.'" So, I didn't pay much attention.

I picked it up again, and while it isn't as enticing a read as The Secret or many others, I finally found its value. Yes, it is saying "Let it go," but how often has someone said that to me and I couldn't even do that? In fact, "letting it go" is much harder than it seems.

It's a little bit of a frustrating read, but when I actually committed to reading what it was saying, it was really eye-opening. So, I tried some techniques...I will go into this more later because I only have the computer for about 30 more seconds, but here's the thing: lately I've had a lot of insecurity over money, my car which needs to be fixed, and my career, among other things. I got to allow my anxiety to come through, realize what was causing it, and let it go because I finally acknowledged its presence. I came home and immediately felt the gusto to clean the apartment--well, the kids' room, which is the worst part--and I don't feel burdened or overwhelmed by anything. In fact, I feel quite at peace.

Check it out. In response to "The Secret" (which I still need to write my full review on) it gives practicality where "The Secret" offers none, so I find that very useful.

Cheers.

Free Tarot Readings--Check Out Facade

The Secret: Help or Hype?

This will be a short post, and I'll post more later.

However, what about the Secret? I've seen it, read the book, and part of me is a little wary, though I think it has a really good message. I believe that empowering people is always a good thing. I believe that positive thinking is always a good thing. However, there are times when it gets a little materialistic, and I have to wonder how much of it is good marketing, and how much of it is just honest knowledge.

I think whenever we encounter something that is put out like The Secret is, it is both extremely encouraging and slightly sleazy. Sleazy IS a strong word, but it's marketed towards people that want instant gratification, and that bothers me. It mentions that being thankful, helpful, and full of love are great ways to "get what you want" but only after it's lured you in with promises of money, a perfect job, and a perfect spouse.

However, is that bad? Everything is marketing; it just depends on how skillful you are at pulling it off being the "honest" marketer. That's why so many commercials use the "regular guy" or girl, for that matter. And humor helps alleviate the spin they put on you. On the other hand, this is not a bad thing. I work partially in marketing; I understand the value of presenting something well. Self-fulfillment on the other hand just seems like something that perhaps should be in the corner, dark, mysterious and understandable only to those of us that are "ready" to understand the message...I don't know.

More later.

Remember the Future

A while ago I came upon a little trick that proved to be very helpful. I was in an acting class and incredibly nervous about performing my piece in front of the class. I kept thinking about it and hoping it would go well, but hoping for something in the future with a great deal of fear only made me more anxious.

Then it dawned on me: what if, instead of hoping or predicting, I treated it like a memory? So I thought of the performance with the words, "I remember how well that went." Immediately, my heart slowed down to 30 mph and I felt a much more at ease. I've used it since then for many auditions and other situations, but it can also be a more general tool for creating your future.

I think the problem of "visualizing the future" is that immediately it feels fake, idealistic, and threatening, all at the same time. Imagining what you want in the future can come hand in hand with some psychological obstacles that in words would be something like, "that will never happen," "you're not smart/talented enough for that, so forget it" or "you're not worthy of that." It's hard to imagine your greatest dreams sometimes. That's why I like to pretend I'm remembering instead. It's the same exact thing with a different name: a visualization and a memory are both pictures in your head, and neither of them are "real" per se. We all know that we selectively remember things, so our memories are often far from truth even though they feel true to us. So if you "remember" when you played that great role or received that check in the mail or it seems more real--at least to me. Remember holding a $5K check in your hand and reading it. Remember reading your bio in the program and it seems more real, because "remember" also implies that you're bringing the picture into existence from reality, whereas visualization implies to bring it from imagination to reality, but in essence, it's all imagination. True, remembering is easier because you have the material given to then restructure, which also makes it less threatening.

There have been moments where I lost something, for instance, and it's so frustrating because I can picture it and feel it in my hand so easily that it seems like maybe I can call it back to me. For instance, I lost my scarf and I can imagine how it feels, exactly what it looks like, almost as if it were in my hand. It feels as if it should be in my hand by how specifically I can remember it. Why not do that with the future?

The future and the past are nothing by constructions in our minds. That's all they are. In essence, they are not real. The only thing that's real is what's happening right now, at this moment. Even the moment two minutes ago isn't real. Now, if I cut myself two minutes ago, or got in a fight with my husband two minutes ago, does that mean it isn't real? Not exactly, because now I have the scars from that instance to deal with. I have blood on my hand, or emotionally I am hurt and frustrated. But the further that instance goes into the past, the more my mind will distort what really happened. My husband and I will probably have very different accounts of how our argument went down, though neither of us is lying; to each of us, our memory is real.

My point is only that the future right now is constructed of the same thing that the past is--to us. That is, if we even bother to think about the future, which many of us don't because we're afraid to. My husband asked me when we first met, "where do you want to be in 5 years?" It sounds silly to me now, but I couldn't answer and started crying. I felt scared, intruded on, and violated. Had I been? No, not at all. He was trying to help me visualize my future, which I was too terrified to do, mostly because my mind told me all the things I list above. Oh yes, and it laughed at me too.

Then there is the concept of the non-linearity (is that a word?) of time. While we experience it only in a linear fashion, it is, in fact, only another dimension of space. So, what if everything that had ever happened and everything that will happen is, in fact, all happening now? There are serious loopholes in that argument, but it's an interesting concept to imagine. Imagine the future you want is right next to you, even though you can't see it. So that your manifestations happen instantaneously, just not in your time-linear world. That would also mean that you could change the past with your thoughts...interesting. Not that what happened would actually change, but what if some of the things that happen in the past are our intentions from the future? I know, I know, the obvious loopholes are screaming out at me, but for instance, I was walking yesterday and thinking about a part I auditioned for a little while ago. I had assumed that it would take a while to cast because of other things the director was dealing with, but I was regretting that I hadn't really put the strong intention out there weeks ago to get the part. Then I thought, maybe by doing it in the future it sets the ball rolling in the past. Maybe if I intend now to do the part, that intention is what got the director to ask me to audition in the first place. Of course, we'll never know, but it's fun to play with time.

So try it: remember the future. Remembering is easy...sometimes. Try it and you'll see how your mind responds much easier. Also, how many of us have visions of the future? If you create a strong, specific visualization, it feels like a memory. Remember your joy at finding the check, at having the money to spend on something you wanted or needed. Remember the way it felt in your hand. Remember reading the amount and your name. Remember the future into existence.

An Opening Note

I wanted to make a blog for me, and others like me, who are searching for their personal Oz. What I mean by that, is finding YOUR (and my) way to personal enrichment, enlightenment, and happiness. with so much stuff out there on the internet, in the bookstores, and on TV, it's hard to sift through the New Age ideas, the religions, the gurus, the weight loss fads, the business fads, and everything and find what truly works for YOU. I believe personally that there is no one true way for everyone, but everyone with his and her personal perceptions, beliefs, and cultures, needs to find the way for him or her.

And, let's do it with a light touch, and hopefully some humor. Peace.