The Difficulties of Remembering the Law of Attraction

Why is it that we automatically assume the worst? Why do we choose to worry rather than manifest the best solution?

I had a car situation. A BAD car situation. I am very, very inept with cars, and really just prefer someone else takes care of the problem at hand. However, whenever I go to a mechanic to fix my car, I'm both relieved that someone can make things better and terrified of what they'll say. I guess the statement I'm afraid of is something like, "Wow...you really f-ed up this car. What an idiot you are. What a bad, stupid person for even owning, let alone not taking care of this car like you should. It's going to cost $5,000-7,000 to fix, but I'd recommend you go out and throw yourself in front of a car rather than try to continue your pathetic car-owning existenece."

Silly, I know, but afraid of criticism when I go, so obviously, I make every excuse not to. And, I had a stack of parking tickets, overdue registration and expired insurance. Oops. Bad. I don't know why, but I've found it refreshing to ignore these tasks recently, in defiance to the stress they cause me. Pretending they don't exist is not the best solution, however.

So, my car gets towed. And I find out I need to A) get insurance, B) fax over proof of insurance to this office called the Office of Financial Responsibility, C) pay my parking tickets to my city, D) wait for the Office of blah blah to clear my registration, then go to the DMV and pay them and get a temporary permit, E) go to the PD to get a vehicle release (and pay them, too, of course), F) go to the tow yard, pay THEM and then get my car. And all this time I'm thinking the car doesn't work, and I'll have to get it towed to my house where it would be immobile like it was before.

I think the most stress was step D, only because they take SOOOO long, and they don't give a shoot (that's the s-word and "hoot" combining to make "shoot;" pretty cute, huh?). I was trying to release on this, but found it extremely hard. As anyone knows, when you're on the line, paying money, and have to wait for some miserable goober in a crappy job to stamp a piece of paper and take it to the other side of the room, it's extremely frustrating. I was using the Sedona method, and realizing this was a result of my wanting control over the situation, so I tried to release the wanting to control. It worked short-term, but there was obviously more I had to do, because I made many, many angry calls to the office trying to bully my way ahead of the line and it got me NOWHERE. I had been told it takes them three business days. That is a problem because they received the information on Thursday, so then I have to wait to continue those three business days the following week. Meanwhile, I'm paying the tow yard over $30/day.

So, I'm calling every day, and nothing. I want my car out of storage; I want to rectify this. They don't care. Then, at the end of the second business day, one lady tells me, "well, then it takes three business days to get processed by the DMV." I'm flabbergasted. So, I freak out. I'm home alone, and I'm so distraught and feel so out of control that I just, well, have a tantrum, basically.

Now, I don't recommend tantrums--ever. Get it out when you're four. The only good thing is that it got me realizing that my own sanity is worth much more than my own car. So after an entire night of trashy reality television, and staying home from work the following day, I just don't care anymore. NOW, I'm finally released of wanting control.

About 1pm, I'm thinking I should call and check if the DMV released my suspension of registration, although I really don't even want to think about it. I force myself to call, and it looks like it's released! It only took ONE business day, instead of three (and sometimes seven to ten).

So, that was releasing/manifesting success #1, though I would never, ever recommend my method of release to anyone. The second was that once I got through to step F, I was still uncertain of how to deal with my car. I set up for a tow truck to come, but I held off sending it until I got there. My husband kept saying to drive it, but I kept feeling like I was driving a bomb before (I'm always afraid my car will blow up when something's wrong with it). The only problem is that it leaks coolant, and so after a few days, the engine overheats. That, and my oil was low. Anyway, I kept thinking of "what am I going to do with my broken car?" and then I reminded myself to just picture myself in the car, being so excited that I have it back and it works. It was really hard to remember, actually. I kept trying to find a solution to a problem that, truthfully, I didn't even know that I had. Maybe just putting some fluids in would fix the whole problem.

So, I brought some oil with me to the tow yard and had some coolant in the car already. The lady at the desk tells me to give her my keys, but I ask instead to look at the car before I decide what to do. She agrees.

Also, let me add that I'm in East Oakland, and I'm a little frightened of being there. Anyway, the man drives me to my car, and I tell him I want to add oil and coolant, and he sticks around and obviously can see I have NO idea what I'm doing, so he helps me. He funnels the oil in with a newspaper and pours the coolant in the radiator. then he helps me as I turn on the car--it took about 10 seconds--and lets the car run.

Guess what? It's TOTALLY FINE. It's not overheating, even a little bit. It's running beautifully; the oil obviously helped. So, he fills up my container with water so I'll have some on hand, and I drive home.

What a relief! It took me about an hour, both with traffic and getting lost, and the car ran beautifully the entire time. It wasn't until the next day that I realized that I had manifested exactly what I had visualized when I reminded myself to focus on the positive.

Now, part of this is manifestation, and part of it is learning not to create problems where there are none; much ado about nothing. This car had sat outside my house for two months without being used because I was too afraid of using it. That, and I was sick of driving everyone all the time, so I welcomed having no car for the first couple of weeks. But I manifested all of this horrible stuff with my car because I'm afraid of it; I manifested...well, I won't go into it, but I was always afraid my car would be gone one morning. The one morning I grab oil and my husband to see what happens, the car is gone. "Too little, too late," the universe replied...

But now it's back, and it's legal, and I've learned the value of letting things be and focusing on what I want, not how to get out of a problem I might have. Both of these things, for both practical, non-LOA purposes, are immensely better than the alternative.

So when our plans to vacation next week looked unlikely, I had to remind myself to not think about how unhappy I am, but to try and create a new vacation, a better vacation. Sometimes we don't even realize how damaging our thoughts can be because they're such a habit for us. Breaking that habit is extremely difficult, but, I believe it can and will be done.

Another future thing I'm trying to manifest is (writing it here solidifies it):

I am so grateful that now I earn $2500 a month at least in one or several jobs that are all fun, worthwhile, total less than 40 hours/week, and are flexible enough so that I can easily fit in auditions and performances for acting gigs to progress my acting career.

The amount of money isn't much at all, I know, but it's what I need right now. I have a hard time with money, so I'm working one step at a time.